Just share some of the same views

I have close to the same views as my pal Glenn Beck. I just enjoyed his blog....read along.
Garden Party
October 12th, 2006

Since moving to the New York area, It’s the kind of place with lots of trees and grass and neighbors where everybody is friendly. Why, even some of my neighbors have gardens.
And that’s where the trouble starts. But let me back up just a little…
See, I love my new suburban life—my wife loves it, my kids love it…we’ve settled down into a folksy, Norman Rockwell kind of place where people are nice to you and they don’t even want anything. I know—it is strange and was an adjustment for me as well. Working in big time showbiz for most of my life, I’d gotten used to the bitter, jaded sensibility that rules in that world. So the “good golly” Mayberry-neighborliness of my new community (they use that word and they’re not even kidding around!), is taking some getting used to. But, back to the gardens.
As far as I’ve always been concerned, food comes not from the earth, but from a grocery store. You want vegetables (and I rarely do), you go to the store, grab a bag of this and a package of that, and you’re done. Apparently, there must not be a grocery in my area, because all my neighbors seem intent on growing their own food. Growing. Look, I know that we all need a hobby, but I’ve always considered myself lucky that I’ve moved beyond the agricultural lifestyle of my ancestors and don’t have to rely on a good “crop” to get me through the winter. I also like indoor plumbing. But some of my neighbors love the whole “back to the land” thing and insist on growing all manner of produce. And apparently they’re really good at it, because this is the time of year when their “harvest” seems to have yielded too much bounty. Then they try to pawn off their surplus on me. Gee—thanks.
Why do people grow zucchini and squash and eggplant anyway? Those certainly aren’t the most delicious vegetables out there. Honestly, when’s the last time you made zucchini at home? And no, zucchini bread doesn’t count because the only reason anyone ever makes zucchini bread is because one of their neighbors gave them a bushel of zucchini since they didn’t have any more room in their freezer for the zucchini bread they made with all of the fist batch of zucchini that came out of the ground. And squash? Have you ever in your life thought or said, “man, you know what would hit the spot right now—I nice plate of squash!” Never. Not once.
And tomatoes? Look, I get it—you’re a miracle worker because you put some seeds in dirt and now you have a bunch of tomatoes. I like tomatoes, but not a dozen a day. And if I change my mind, I know where the grocery store is. They have tomatoes there year-round!
Why can’t they grow lamb chops? Or pudding? Or Cap’n Crunch cereal? Those are super delicious and I’d take them by the bushel. But carrots? Not so much. But really thanks for the thought. I’m all full of salad. Literally. But thanks. No, it’s great to be in the neighborhood. Honest.
See you at the PTA meeting!
-glenn