This is a post for folks here at work.
I am not the size of a car. I am not the size of a boat. I don't have cooties (gross definition). So when I walk by you in the kitchen you don't need to press your self up against the wall and try to be as flat as a pancake. I dont take up that much room. Don't laugh. This is the third time this week, twice it has been the same person. So maybe he is just scared to be near me.
I may not be slim n' slender like a few girls on this floor, but compared to some I am only a third of their size...so give me a break. Maybe I should apologize for not working out for over two hours a day like some attorney folks do on this floor. That's right they are gone from 12 until atleast 2, then comeback and eat at their desk. But they can stay here until the dark hours of the evening.

okay. Back to lunch. Which is not very good and there's no one to talk to.
Lean pocket cheese pizza, granny smith apple and a co-worker who doesnt feel like talking today. She has her reasons, but still.

They had a memorial service for Steve Irwin
Bindi Irwin paid a touching tribute to her father. "My Daddy was my hero. He was always there when I needed him. He listened to me and taught me so many things, but most of all he was fun. I know that Daddy had an important job; he was working to change the world so that everyone would love wildlife like he did. "He built a hospital to save wildlife and he bought lots of land to give animals a safe place to live. He took me and my brother and my mother with him all the time. We filmed together, caught crocodiles together and loved being in the bush together. I don't want Daddy's passion to ever end. I want to help endangered wildlife just like he did. I had the best Daddy in the whole world and I will miss him every day..."

That man planted so many seeds in that little girl. She will grow up to be just like him. He left his mark on his family. No one has to guess what he stood for.


We should all have such a passion in our life that our kids never second guess our purpose.
It's hard to understand why saying goodbye has to be a part of life.

I ended last night in tears.

I had been putting this off for over two weeks now. The last DVD (Part 10) of the series Band of Brothers.

An HBO series about Easy Company in World War II. The producers did an excellent job with this production. During each episode you would hope the story wouldn't end, that death never really occurred, that this was just make believe and real people were never affected.
Not the case.

I don't know how to enforce this, but you have to watch this series. I am sure you can rent this at BlockBuster. Please do.

I have walked away with a deeper respect for these men that served. My grandfather served in the Navy duting WWII, his ship was torpedoed and he lost his leg. He never would talk about it.

Seeing the sacrifices made, seeing how these men are now, it truelly makes a mark in my heart.

So last night I watched episode 10, WWII did end and so did the series, but these men that survived still had lives to live. I watched the last 10 minutes in tears.
If you know me, you know it takes a lot of emotion to get me to tears, crying isnt easy for me.
It was not hard to have tears fall during this.

Here's a log of last night. Well September 13th.

7pm- get boys out of bath
7:30pm- Put pj's on the boys,
7:45pm- go and put Jeb to bed in his toddler bed
8pm- put Chad to sleep (simple) feed him a bottle and *tada* he is out.
8:15- take Jeb back to his bedroom
8:30- take Jeb back to his bedroom, this time lay down next to him
9:00 jeb decided he has to sit on the potty...he wasnt faking....
9:10- back to bed...I leave him by himself
9:15- no sign of Jeb. I eat a fabulous dinner my husband prepared for me
9:20- stop eating fabulous dinner and get Jeb some milk
9:45-Jeb decides he needs to potty again...not faking
10pm- Put Jeb in bed with us, and give him one tsp of Benadryl. (the boy is trying to count to 20, when he messes up he starts over...he cant get past 14 yet)
10:30- Chad says he's headed for the couch...Jeb is squirming too much
11pm- wake up, Jeb's toes are punching my side
12am- wake up, Jeb is rubbing my face in his sleep...what?
1am- Lil' Chad is crying...head to kitchen and make bottle
2:18am- phone rings...adrenaline kicks in...scared to hear bad news...noone answers. My darn eyes are so blurry I can't see caller ID
2:20am- phone rings...caller ID says Private name/ Private number...again noone is on the other end
3am- I am staring at the ceiling. wide awake due to surge of adrenaline from unknown caller
3:15- put Jeb in his toddler bed. He doesnt even notice- whew!
3:21- Phone Rings....AGAIN...i don't answer it, and they don't leave a message grrrrr.
4am- Yes I am still awake because of 3rd call
5am- Horrible dream. I had to check caller ID when I got up to see if the phone call I dreamed about really took place.- it didnt happen
5:05- Chad climbs in the bed, after sleeping all night on the couch
5:30- Jeb runs in the bedroom...Mommy - Movie?! Wiggles?! -God NO!he climbs in next to me. He is ice cold.
5:31- lil' Chad is crying....God forbid he go more than a few hours with out something to eat...another trip to the kitchen
5:45- alarm clock sounds.

Did you hear the good news? You know how excited I am! I am aKostner fan. Don't laugh. I am serious!

Click on Fox News to see what I mean.

OK, this is about me, even though my Blog site is titled "it;s not about me"

How old: 27 years

How old do you look: Uh, I say thirty, but Chad says I could pass for 25 and somedays younger

Tall or Short: 5' 6" (I am the shortest kid in my family)

Quiet or Loud: Quiet, it takes a lot for me to be loud

Sarcastic: When it's called for...my husband used to get his feelings hurt when we were dating...so I layed off the sarcasm for a while

Accent: Depends who you ask. Friends/husband think northern, family thinks I speak with a souther accent

Easy to amuse: I guess yes. (is that an insult?)

Employed: for now! (God help me! my division is slowly working it's way out of existence)- I am working and looking for work.

Own a Home or Rent: I have a home and I guess I own it, but if I were to not make the payments the bank would own it.

Kids: two...boys...

Marital status: Yes, I have mentioned Chad, been married for 6 years! we met in '98, married in 2000

Clothes today: Grey slacks, lime green shirt, shoes from Hell (3 inch heel and pointy tips, my boss calls them "roach killer" shoes- they are so pointy they are perfect for killings bugs in the corner.)

ACT/ SAT score: Oh, it was 21. That is a soar spot for me. I swear if I had gone to a different school my last two years I would have had a better score.

Dream car or Dream Truck: Truck. No doubt. No second guessing.

breakfast today: my co-worker just set some M&M's on my desk! yahoo

Lunch today: Left overs and some yoplait yogurt

ok....there are like 50 more Q's, but this is enough. (I am deleting the rest)

I just need sleep. I am not asking for a million dollars

I think I should go back to bed. Or I need to get to bed sooner. I don't think I have slept one full night since May 11, 2004. (yes that is Jeb's b-day)
I think it is starting to show...(any of you who have ever worked with me are probably saying that it has been showing for quite a while :0)
But this morning was different. I'll explain.
1. I am to be out of bed by 6am, my eyes opened to my alarm clock reading 6:18.
2. Go to get in the shower, stand on the scale (why I do this to myself every morning I dont know), but the scale went said "EEEEE" (error) God, I must be eating food from Hell.
3. Jeb doesnt want to get out of bed! He wants to lay in his new toddler bed, I tried to get him to sleep in this toddler bed last night, but nooooo he wanted to play and sing songs. (I ended up letting him scream himself to sleep in the crib)
4. I am ready to leave and remember I was supposed to leave early to get gas...didn't happen.
5. Drop the kids off at the babysitter...her little poodle puppy decides to snip at Jeb. Great. He is crying...he's ok, it just scared him.
6. It's raining. My hair can't take the rain. I now have Llama hair- Dont laugh you know that's what it looks like when it is wet and curly. (how my husband finds me attractive is beyond my understanding....)
7. Ok, I go to get gas....card declined..."WHAT!"- payday was Friday...I swipe it again...it goes through.
8. Pull into work. Ahhh, finally. We have new doors at work; you must scan your card then the door will open. Well this morning I forgot about the new system. You guessed it. SMACKed right into the glass. Luckily only the security camera saw me.

Well say a prayer for me. There are 16 more hours in this day.

I remember where I was, Where were you?

I can remember September 11, 2001. I know where I was, I can remember that day. I find it hard to believe it's already been five years.
I was asleep, I did not have to go into work until the afternoon.
The phone rang. It was Chad's mom. She said "You better turn on the TV, the sh*! has hit the fan!"
(if you know Chad's mom...you know those are the words she would say :0)
The first tower had smoke flowing out of it, then you notice the second tower has the same black smoke and flames coming out of it...it just went down hill from there. People crying, camera's showing men and women falling and sometimes jumping from the building. I called my mom, her voice was a bit shakey. My mom had just talked to my oldest Sister Dawn; Dawn couldnt watch it, it was making her cry.
My mind was racing trying to figure out- How many people were trapped in the towers? Those people out on the roof - Would we be able to rescue them? They were waving their arms at the helicopter to pick them up. And then the unexpected fall of the tower. I couldnt believe it. It was surreal.
It distinctly remember the look on President Bush's face after he was told of the news. It was heartbreaking. His face never moved, but you saw the emotion in his eyes. He never revealed to those kids how he truelly felt.
I remember the news showing the plane hit the building over and over, I couldnt help but have tears for the people who didn't know Jesus.

It's sad to think this type of memory makes us realize how important it is to know Jesus- and I dont mean to know of him, I mean to truelly know him. So many people live with out having Jesus in their heart. They need to know him.

My Labor Day Holiday was bruised with the news

that Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter was killed. I am so upset. I dont exactly know why I am so upset, but it seems other folks have the same feelings. He seemed genuinely freindly and compassionate. Very rarely do people get to do what they are passionate about. My prayers are for his wife Terri and daughter Bindi, and son Bob (named after his dad) that they will look to Jesus for help and support. What a loss.

I am going to add a question. I know there are jobs that can put you at a higher risk of death or serious injury.
I wonder if this was worth it to him?
He loved animals, nature, and showing the world how awesome creatures are...
but he won't grow old with his wife, he won't see his daughter graduate, or get married he wont see his son play ball, drive his first car, or carry on the family tradition...
Was his passion worth death?